The Future-- A Post by Liam

In the words of Piglet, the time has come for me to spleak painly.  It's been just about two years since the first Phil Phorce episode began, and in that time, I have learned a lot about writing.  Phil Phorce has given me a way to test out those methods and give them up for feedback.  It has been tremendously useful.  I managed to plot one episode successfully (a first), develop characters, and give a sagging pile of brown goop feelings.  I wrote my first Fringe-style thriller, crafted several unique magic systems, and learned how to structure an episode well within a two scene per week format.  It was a tremendous learning experience.

I also had my share of mistakes.  The first draft of PP7 was a bust (incorporeal antagonists are not that useful), the ending to PP3 still bugs me, and I'm kind of ashamed that I couldn't juggle emotional arcs of all the Phils at once.  (In PP7, I dropped the number of Phils-- intentionally-- to four and barely mentioned the rest.)  But nevertheless, it was a great feeling to write all of those things.

I think you can see where this is going.  Why sum up your successes and failures just to turn around and succeed or fail again?  You begin to sum up when it's time to end.

You may have noticed that PP7 did not end on a cliffhanger.  The first one did.  The second one did.  The third one did.  You get the point.  All of them ended with cliffhangers except this one.  This was deliberate.  Usually I hint at the next episode halfway into the current one-- the MLP scene with the Castle, for instance, and the dissatisfaction of Isaac, or the discovery of the time machine way back in episode one.  I didn't do that in PP7.

It's the last one.  There will be no more Phil Phorce.  I'm sorry to break it to you this way, but it's true.  I did my best to wrap up everything I could at the end of PP7-- Quirk isn't anxious about leading anymore, the Phils sort of respect him, and that's pretty much all there is to say.  The Blanks are friends, Percival and Quirk have a healthy rivalry, and Isaac is back where he wants to be.  I wouldn't say everything is perfect-- of course there's room for another 7 episodes-- but this is a good stopping place.

Of course, that isn't the only reason I'm stopping here.  The Phil Phorce began because I wanted to write something cool and have people read it.  I didn't care about publishing, or even quality-- I just wanted to have fun.  And that worked for me for two years.  Now, however, I'm changing gears, moving toward publishing more and more.  As much as I like the Phils, they aren't getting me anywhere.  Instead, they take up weeks of my time, weeks I could spend editing a novel to query with, or writing a completely new one.  So there are selfish reasons there too.

I hope you guys understand.  The Phils have been awesome, but I want to branch out a little more from conspiracy theories and talking ping pong balls.  The Phils have completed their fifth act.

At least it wasn't a tragedy.

But.  To make up for this: I know a lot of you have really enjoyed (or have said you've really enjoyed) reading the Phil Phorce.  I value your feedback a lot, and if you would like, you can be alpha readers for whatever novels of mine you choose.  I'd love to keep hearing your opinions, and I hope this isn't too conceited on my part to think you'll still like me after this surprise ending.

The Phil Phorce will remain on my usual blog, but it will be changed to the Writing Samples menu next to the About page.  

Pun Warning

As some of you may know, we began writing Phil Phorce episode 7, but had to quit about 75% of the way through due to insufficient planning on Liam's part.  (It's all his fault.  Always.)  That is a minor setback, but we plan to have episode seven up sometime in February.  I can't say much about this episode, but I can say this: it has me in it.

I know you can't contain your excitement.  In the meantime, however, you may reread former episodes on the main blog (at least, the ones from four on, because I don't think anyone really liked those first three), and wish us luck as we begin our second draft.  I've never had to redraft anything like this.  It'll be interesting.

While we're on the topic of wishing luck, send a little bit toward Liam.  He hopes to begin querying sometime around spring, although not with Phil Phorce, for some reason.  He'll need all the luck he can get.

Until February, which is just around the corner, I bid you all an impartial and careless something or other in French.  I don't know how to pronounce it, although it sounds like I do.

Yes.  That was a pun.  A bad one.  Liam is trying to delete it.  Goodbye.

Whatever

These infrequent posts are becoming common, aren't they?  Oh, well.  Too little time, too little to say.

If you hadn't already heard, Phil Phorce episode 6 was just aired over at the main blog, finishing off with a nice little lead-in to the next episode, episode 7.  In this one, we'll be taking a field trip over into Isaac's world and hobnobbing with the fairy tales.  Should be fun, although I hear there are some dangerous characters over there.  Liam's plot bunnies come back to haunt us.

And that's all I really have to say about that.  Liam wants his fingers back, since it's NaNoWriMo and all.  He'll start writing episode 7 in December or January, or if he's really behind, February.  But he expects to be done before that.

Ahem

Phil Phorce, Episode 5, is completely posted over on the main blog, and to no one's despair, it did not include haggis.

The sheep have declared a national holiday.

Anyway, as for Episode 6, it has been written.  It was, in fact, written at the beginning of July.  However, for maleficent purposes, we won't release it until much later.  Maybe... three months.

Why this exact time?  It's the usual time interval for posting Phil Phorce episodes.  Liam prefers to have three months or so of regular posting, so that he can rack up hundreds of followers, only to drop me and my gang on their heads when they thought they had the blog figured out.  We're so evil.

The interval originally came from the fact that Liam was lazy.  He didn't write any Phil Phorce for months on end, then scrambled to get it published.  Not this time, however-- he's got it all done, just waiting for a micro-edit before it makes its mark upon the Internet.

And let me tell you, it will make a big mark.  Episode Six is like none we've ever told before, and let me tell you, it was pretty nasty to experience.  You see, Episode Six is a thriller.

I know, I know, we're too young to die.  (Except me, apparently, but it doesn't matter because I can't die.)  But don't worry-- against all odds, Liam kept me from killing anyone off I kept Liam from killing anyone off.  So it's a non-gory thriller (such abominations should not exist), but a thriller all the same.  I hope you guys see it as such.

So if this thriller isn't gory at all, where's the thrill?  I can hear your cognitive wheels breaking down and your cognitive repair-guys calling for help.  Well, in our awesomeness, we've somehow managed to create a thriller based on something no one would expect.

Soap.

This story is not horror.  It is not gory, as I have said.  It is simply a thriller, made by the qualifications of the TV show Fringe.

And I must say, writing anything like a thriller was a pretty awesome feeling, especially if I got to be in it.  Even if it wasn't gory.

So.  I'll see you guys again in another three months as we post Phil Phorce Episode 6, but until then, shake in terror at what a Philler might entail.

No.  No tails.  Guess again.

(And by the way, the move to Tumblr will not be happening.  Blogger is fine.)

A Post of Questionable Worth

So um.

It's been a while since much happened with the Phils.  We're all set with saving the world and our skins (literally).  Soon we'll be coming out with our next set of adventures over on the main blog, This Page Intentionally Left Blank.  Does this mean I'll post more often?

No.

Since the new episode is upcoming, some have asked for a trailer, a preview of sorts.  I know Liam did one for episode two, but I don't think we can pull it off this time.  Why?  Because writing the darn thing is actually more important right now than advertising for it.  (Gasp!)  Why?  Because in order to advertise, you have to have something to advertise.  We're less than halfway through the episode now, though it's scheduled to begin near the end of June or beginning of July.

But just because we don't want to spend a lot of time writing ourselves into holes with ominous scenes we shall then have to include, it doesn't mean I can't give you a few sneak peeks.  Well... less like sneak peeks, more like miniature spoilers.

In this episode (episode 5!), we begin after we left off-- the Castle has been defeated, Liam has been killed, and as his own funeral present he gave me a story.  That story is posing problems for me, for I want to know what I've lived through that I don't remember.  Not only that, but I am Head Phil now-- I have greater responsibilities than spiting Percival, and no one really likes me.  That's not all.  The Castle Under the Cloud has lost its homicidal spirit, but what does that mean for the Castle itself?  All this and more, coming up in the next episode!

I shall leave you with a last word of questionable encouragement: haggis!

(I may decide to move this blog to Tumblr, where I might be able to post more often, though it may become more addictive and Percival will be even more irritated.  Wait... if it irritates Percival...  This requires some thought.  Not only mine, but yours too-- what do you think?)

Of Cattle Prods and Me

I think it's about time I posted again. Is this how Liam feels all the time?

First off, Liam is gradually posting the Phil Phorce over on his blog. Little by little, we're getting to the interesting bit, where I save the world. Not to brag or anything. Even better, I think he's already thinking about the next episode. Five episodes already! Have we been alive that long? Pretty soon someone is going to make our exploits into a movie!

That was wishful thinking, I suppose. But Liam might.

Anyway, this episode of the Phil Phorce is amazing. Lots of twisty twists, lots of me, and lots of Percival being useless (I suppose his entire life is like that). And someone dies! I won't tell you who, but it's a pretty big deal. If anyone actually reads this, now they know something none of Liam's followers do.

In other news, I am currently trying to reconcile a moose and a cattle prod. They don't like each other much, it seems.

An Introduction

The Phils have a blog. As of today, we can be heard for the individual people we are. [Shut up, Sebase, you aren't important.] Our individuality from the one who created us is clear: while he double spaces after every sentence, I only use one space.   Ha. Oops, that was two. I'll go back and cross them out and add another. [Percival, I don't care if that makes three spaces-- you're just an evil double spacer too. Anyway, you have your own blog.  ...I don't care if Liam made it private!]

Unfortunately, though we now have a blog, our exploits can't be published here because Liam likes to keep them on his blog. Perhaps I'll be able to snag some scenes behind his back without him knowing. Sam says that's a reprehensible course of action, and I say that he swallowed a dictionary. Him being a ping pong ball, I'm not exactly sure how that worked.

This is the true home of the Phils. Any other is a pretender, an insult, a slap in our metaphorical collective face. Though people try to plagiarize, there is only one home of the Phils. [I'm not counting our physical home, okay? Okay.  Really, Steve.]

Before we begin the revelry [I'm talking to you, Feiron-- the party doesn't start 'til we're done with the post!], I'd like to introduce my phellows.

---

Feiron is our resident fairy. He's cursed to remain in the small, brown, humanoid glop that is every fairy's true form. He has an invisible oversized backpack, however, which is quite handy.

Isaac is our resident dimwit. He's a blind Prince from some fairy-tale world or other. Feiron is bonded to him somehow.

Gologer is our resident dragon. He's orange and purple and smelly.

Percival is the Aardvark. He isn't actually an aardvark, which is unfortunate; if he was, I could push him down the stairs more often.

Phoenix is a fire-controller. She's human, don't worry. At least, I think she's human. She likes red.

The old lady is an old lady. She likes to read.

Steve is an angry ping pong ball.

Sam is a nice ping pong ball.

Sebase is a jester from the Middle Ages.

Phume is an army captain from the Middle Ages, an acquaintance of Sebase's. You could call them friends, but you'd have to amend your statement every few moments.

Liam is our Head Phil-- our leader. I'm still not sure if I like him or not.

And I am Quirk, the Vice-Phil, or second in command. I'm awesome.

---

That's that, dear reader. And deer reader, I suggest you clear out before Phume sees you.