Ahem

Phil Phorce, Episode 5, is completely posted over on the main blog, and to no one's despair, it did not include haggis.

The sheep have declared a national holiday.

Anyway, as for Episode 6, it has been written.  It was, in fact, written at the beginning of July.  However, for maleficent purposes, we won't release it until much later.  Maybe... three months.

Why this exact time?  It's the usual time interval for posting Phil Phorce episodes.  Liam prefers to have three months or so of regular posting, so that he can rack up hundreds of followers, only to drop me and my gang on their heads when they thought they had the blog figured out.  We're so evil.

The interval originally came from the fact that Liam was lazy.  He didn't write any Phil Phorce for months on end, then scrambled to get it published.  Not this time, however-- he's got it all done, just waiting for a micro-edit before it makes its mark upon the Internet.

And let me tell you, it will make a big mark.  Episode Six is like none we've ever told before, and let me tell you, it was pretty nasty to experience.  You see, Episode Six is a thriller.

I know, I know, we're too young to die.  (Except me, apparently, but it doesn't matter because I can't die.)  But don't worry-- against all odds, Liam kept me from killing anyone off I kept Liam from killing anyone off.  So it's a non-gory thriller (such abominations should not exist), but a thriller all the same.  I hope you guys see it as such.

So if this thriller isn't gory at all, where's the thrill?  I can hear your cognitive wheels breaking down and your cognitive repair-guys calling for help.  Well, in our awesomeness, we've somehow managed to create a thriller based on something no one would expect.

Soap.

This story is not horror.  It is not gory, as I have said.  It is simply a thriller, made by the qualifications of the TV show Fringe.

And I must say, writing anything like a thriller was a pretty awesome feeling, especially if I got to be in it.  Even if it wasn't gory.

So.  I'll see you guys again in another three months as we post Phil Phorce Episode 6, but until then, shake in terror at what a Philler might entail.

No.  No tails.  Guess again.

(And by the way, the move to Tumblr will not be happening.  Blogger is fine.)

A Post of Questionable Worth

So um.

It's been a while since much happened with the Phils.  We're all set with saving the world and our skins (literally).  Soon we'll be coming out with our next set of adventures over on the main blog, This Page Intentionally Left Blank.  Does this mean I'll post more often?

No.

Since the new episode is upcoming, some have asked for a trailer, a preview of sorts.  I know Liam did one for episode two, but I don't think we can pull it off this time.  Why?  Because writing the darn thing is actually more important right now than advertising for it.  (Gasp!)  Why?  Because in order to advertise, you have to have something to advertise.  We're less than halfway through the episode now, though it's scheduled to begin near the end of June or beginning of July.

But just because we don't want to spend a lot of time writing ourselves into holes with ominous scenes we shall then have to include, it doesn't mean I can't give you a few sneak peeks.  Well... less like sneak peeks, more like miniature spoilers.

In this episode (episode 5!), we begin after we left off-- the Castle has been defeated, Liam has been killed, and as his own funeral present he gave me a story.  That story is posing problems for me, for I want to know what I've lived through that I don't remember.  Not only that, but I am Head Phil now-- I have greater responsibilities than spiting Percival, and no one really likes me.  That's not all.  The Castle Under the Cloud has lost its homicidal spirit, but what does that mean for the Castle itself?  All this and more, coming up in the next episode!

I shall leave you with a last word of questionable encouragement: haggis!

(I may decide to move this blog to Tumblr, where I might be able to post more often, though it may become more addictive and Percival will be even more irritated.  Wait... if it irritates Percival...  This requires some thought.  Not only mine, but yours too-- what do you think?)

An Introduction

The Phils have a blog. As of today, we can be heard for the individual people we are. [Shut up, Sebase, you aren't important.] Our individuality from the one who created us is clear: while he double spaces after every sentence, I only use one space.   Ha. Oops, that was two. I'll go back and cross them out and add another. [Percival, I don't care if that makes three spaces-- you're just an evil double spacer too. Anyway, you have your own blog.  ...I don't care if Liam made it private!]

Unfortunately, though we now have a blog, our exploits can't be published here because Liam likes to keep them on his blog. Perhaps I'll be able to snag some scenes behind his back without him knowing. Sam says that's a reprehensible course of action, and I say that he swallowed a dictionary. Him being a ping pong ball, I'm not exactly sure how that worked.

This is the true home of the Phils. Any other is a pretender, an insult, a slap in our metaphorical collective face. Though people try to plagiarize, there is only one home of the Phils. [I'm not counting our physical home, okay? Okay.  Really, Steve.]

Before we begin the revelry [I'm talking to you, Feiron-- the party doesn't start 'til we're done with the post!], I'd like to introduce my phellows.

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Feiron is our resident fairy. He's cursed to remain in the small, brown, humanoid glop that is every fairy's true form. He has an invisible oversized backpack, however, which is quite handy.

Isaac is our resident dimwit. He's a blind Prince from some fairy-tale world or other. Feiron is bonded to him somehow.

Gologer is our resident dragon. He's orange and purple and smelly.

Percival is the Aardvark. He isn't actually an aardvark, which is unfortunate; if he was, I could push him down the stairs more often.

Phoenix is a fire-controller. She's human, don't worry. At least, I think she's human. She likes red.

The old lady is an old lady. She likes to read.

Steve is an angry ping pong ball.

Sam is a nice ping pong ball.

Sebase is a jester from the Middle Ages.

Phume is an army captain from the Middle Ages, an acquaintance of Sebase's. You could call them friends, but you'd have to amend your statement every few moments.

Liam is our Head Phil-- our leader. I'm still not sure if I like him or not.

And I am Quirk, the Vice-Phil, or second in command. I'm awesome.

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That's that, dear reader. And deer reader, I suggest you clear out before Phume sees you.